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Sporadic» Blog Archive » Far-a-field in Fairfield

Far-a-field in Fairfield

I was up at 4:30 AM this morning so that I could drive to Fairfield and pretend to commute back into the city.

I’m going to sit here and let you reread that little nugget because you didn’t understand it the first time. Go ahead.  I won’t move on until you get back.

See? I knew you were gonna have to read it again, because it doesn’t make any sense to me either. So here the back story:

John, our friend from back in the Circle days, called me up and asked if I would like to appear in a webisode he cooked up for a client of his. The treatment is such: some IT guys* who commute in to work together** talk about servers and stuff on their way in.

Two of the guys in the car are actual real to life super geeked out IT dudes, then there’s a woman who works for a bank and me***.  All these people actually live Fairfield. This is thier commute. It’s what they do. Me? Not so much. So I have to drive to Fairfield so I can drive back to the place I came from****.

 By the time I get in the car I have had two large starbucks coffees***** and two bites of a weird sausage starbucks sandwich John had purchased for me******.  So two coffees, no substantive breakfast, and very little sleep made me a little glassy eyed. Combine that with the fact that these two IT guys are talking a mile a minute about “cloud computing” and what happens is that I don’t speak at all for almost 20 minutes and when I do speak I say stuff like “I like email!”, “Sometimes I buy muffins!” and “My laptop is nice!”. I sound like some kind of adult, borderline-retarded version of Ralphie Wiggum. It was not pretty.

The good thing is that tonight, after working all day, I get to pretend to commute back to Fairfield. I am spending the day reading about blade servers and packet sniffing, so that I’ll be able to actually have some input on our fake ride to my fake home.

However I do hope to use my favorite IT guy joke at least twice, which is to tell and off color story and close with the line “I guess you can tell who installed her operating system!”

*which I am not

** which I do via BART

*** I was refered to, more than once, hysterically as: “The Talent”

**** Dear Earth Day, Sorry about that. Love, dac

*****There were no Peets in Fairfield, as a matter of fact it took us almost 15 mins to find Starbucks because every building in Fairfield looks like every other building in Fairfield. The place is an infinite loop of strip malls which ends in a feild with cows.

****** I forgot to include in my rider the list of demands I had as “The Talent”, but the sandwich was not bad and his heart was in the right place.

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2 Responses to “Far-a-field in Fairfield”

  1. l.smith Says:

    I am not either!

  2. l.smith Says:

    Holy Christ!

    Mexican wrestlers Renegado and Mr. Tempest look at an image of what they believe is “Our Lady of Guadalupe” on a griddle at Las Palmas restaurant in Calexico, Calif. Manager Brenda Martinez says more than a hundred people have flocked to the restaurant to inspect the griddle.

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