Give your post a friendly name, like Pete

Sean and Anneke are getting married tomorrow (holy crap!)*

Anneke sent out a invite to the Apres-vow and she used a Q & A style that amused me, so I will use the same style to explain the following nothing:

Q. Why does the bathroom at your office smell like onion rings and popcorn?

A. Good question. I know it’s totally gross, because not on does the bathroom smell like, well, a bathroom, it also smells like food. It’s very confusing to a number of deep evolutionary concepts from within our lizard brain. So as near as I can tell, the reason is that the bathrooms share the same exhaust/ ventilation system with the food court on the first floor. I can only hope that the ventilation only goes 1 way.

Q. What’s wrong with the Penguins?

A. There are a lot of differing opinions on this one. The most commonly held belief is that Marc Andre Fluery needs to make some key saves and basically bring his game to a better place. Hopefully this will happen as the series moves back to Pittsburgh, since as we’re continually reminded, only 1 team in the past 32 games has ever gotten out of a 2 game hole.

Q. What’s the matter with Kemp?

A. He’s a bum

Q. What’s with all the sports stuff?

A. You know, I haven’t the faintest. I guess I’m just feeling particularly sporty today with Hockey finals on and such.

Q. Mayo or Miracle whip?

A. I’d say they both have their place. I like Miracle Whip on egg and tuna salad but for a turkey sandwich mayo with a touch of Dijon is the way to go.

Q. What’s the deal with the free bacon?

A. Apparently there was some kind of special Microsoft Advertising function on the 7th floor and we were not informed. By the time anyone let us know, there wasn’t anything left but a few mangy croissants and a huge pile of bacon. Not being one to look a gift pig in the mouth, I grabbed a bunch of Bacon. It’s nice, it means that my sandwich which I brought for lunch went from being a standard turkey sandwich to a club.

Q. How can  croissant be ‘mangy’?

A. You kinda have to see these croissants. They were sitting out, cut in half, since like 7:30 AM by the time I caught wind of their existence  around 11:30, by that time they had seen far better days.

Q. Why less footnotes?

Well, basically the Q & A format means that you don’t need as many simply by design of the idiom. Since all the responses are quick, there’s not really much need for an aside**

 

*Which I think means that we are all adults now, thinking back on my longest running friends in the city that I still speak with which as far as I can tell is just really comedy related we have now 4 marriages, 1 real divorce, 1 fake divorce, 1 kid and 2 property ownerships. Crazy huh? I’ve been to like 50 40th birthday parties in the last year. We’re old. Nirvana and Mudhoney are now ‘Classic rock’. (Pearl Jam always was classic rock – even when it was new)

** Which is the whole reason why the foot notes came into existence. I just didn’t like including huge parenthetical statements in the center of the main narrative. I thought the public was better served by having the parenthetical stuff thrown in at the bottom and it sometimes work well for comic effect.

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